Joan Liu: A Note For Everyone Dodging the “What’s Your Plan?” Questions After Graduation
Alumna Joan Liu has always been a self-proclaimed jack-of-all-trades. During her undergraduate studies at the University of British Columbia (UBC), the grind and ambition of her pre-med classmates left her feeling lost, constantly wondering where her passion was and what work would light her up the way it seemed to for everyone around her.
In reflection, Joan now understands that early lack of direction wasn’t purposeless. The wandering was the point. It led her to an unexpected path that weaves together her lived experience as an athlete and her deep desire to help others.
In this honest and heartwarming piece, Joan reminds her readers that it’s okay not to know what comes next, to feel alone in the uncertainty, and to question everything all at once. For her, learning to sit with the not-knowing was what ultimately made everything fall into place. Read more below.
Today marks a year since I came to terms with the fact that my dreams of becoming a physiotherapist were shattered.
Well, okay, maybe that’s a lie.
Actually, 2 lies.
Firstly, what happened was that I had missed out on 2 stations on my MMI interviews for UBC’s Masters of Physical Therapy program because my camera and mic cut out (a classic, I know).
I, of course, crashed out and thought I was definitely not going to make it. However, from what you can infer from my writing, I ultimately managed to get into the program.
Secondly, I guess I wouldn’t call them dreams. I hadn’t dreamt of becoming a physiotherapist; it was actually quite the opposite. At the time, it was honestly just another possible post-graduate program on my list that would help me figure out what to do with my Bachelor’s of Science degree. Nothing more.
And yet, if you were to ask me today, I’d say that I’m not only enjoying physiotherapy school, but I couldn’t imagine myself being anywhere else. This is a shoutout to my fellow recent undergrads who feel lost, who dodge the question every time a family member asks, “so… what are you planning on doing?”, and to myself, a year ago, for embracing the unknown and trusting what’s to come.
I definitely did not know I would end up where I am today: 25% through physio school, about to start my first placement. “I don’t know” was actually my favourite answer when people asked me what I wanted to do in the future! And it was at least partially honest, as I really had no idea what I wanted to do.
In high school, I thought I would find my calling by figuring out what I was good at and what I liked. It turns out I was decent at all my school subjects, did all the clubs, sports, and theatre I was interested in (and found I was particularly mediocre in most of them), and so, I still didn’t have a clue.
My actual honest answer to the aforementioned question of what I wanted to do would depend on when you asked me. If you were to ask me in elementary school, it would’ve been to get into high school. If you were to ask me in high school, it would’ve been to get into university. If you were to ask me in university, it would be to GET OUT.
Don’t get me wrong: I liked school, but I chose to major in sciences on a whim, and that decision felt like a costly choice to me. Seeing my pre-med classmates vie for seats in GPA booster courses and the research-savvy ones scramble to find lab volunteer positions made me feel lost and as though I didn’t belong.
Here people were, finally taking big strides toward accomplishing their goals of getting into medical school or figuring out what to study for their PhD, and here I was just trying to graduate and find a stable job that I hopefully somewhat tolerated, if not liked. I felt adrift, hoping for a strong wind or a convincing tide that could push me to a shore that I felt like I could land on.
Well, I got what I wished for.
My first encounter with physiotherapy is pretty typical with most people; my friend with “bad” knees playing volleyball would see them every few weeks, and feel better. I had heard from older students in high school talk about how all the athletes applying to kinesiology were all gunning to be physios, and I remember thinking, “huh, well I’m not that crazy about sports, so I guess that’s not really my thing,” and didn’t think more of it.
That was until I tore my ACL, and decided physio was for me – at least, in the role of the patient. Going to physio to help rehab my knee opened my eyes up to what the profession actually did, and I saw firsthand how they helped people, and that stuck with me.
In my third year of university, I was considering pursuing teaching after graduation, but wanted to try and find an opportunity where I could integrate my interest in working with kids with the academic content I was studying. That led me to become a volunteer for Kids Physio in Richmond, a pediatric physiotherapy clinic. Now this was a game-changer for me. I asked myself why I felt so excited to volunteer at the clinic every week, and realized it was because it drew upon the subjects I enjoyed at school, such as anatomy and neurobiology, and tied them in with hands-on skills and techniques.
Even better, it was a profession that saw people return to their lives and supported them to live their lives to the fullest. The progress I witnessed, the joy I felt from the kids when they reached their next goal, and the relief and gratitude I saw flood parents’ faces, is what I saw in my mind as I started my application to UBC’s MPT program.
Now, let me clear, I was extremely intimidated and nervous to apply to the program. I didn’t know a single person applying, I barely even knew people in the program, I thought I was behind since I didn’t start purposefully collecting any physio-related experience or prerequisites until my last year of university, and I wasn’t a kinesiology student – I felt SO out of place. Still, I trusted myself, and 4 months later, found myself happily screaming my head off and calling my mom after receiving a long-awaited acceptance email.
I’ve told all of my friends this, but during that first week of school, I was so nervous. How do I even make friends? How am I gonna keep up with all the coursework? It was nerve-wracking to think about how most of my classmates were probably older and had more educational or work experience, and here I was fresh out of my undergraduate degree. You could probably imagine the rest of what I was thinking, as I’m sure most of you aren’t strangers to classic imposter syndrome, but oh, how fast these thoughts faded and became replaced by the joys of finding my people, enjoying my learning, and realizing I had made a great choice after all.
I’ve learned so many things, just from my first term of physio school. I’ve learned how to feel for all the muscles and bones in the human body through physical touch. I’ve learned what a cadaver is (which I had no clue was a thing until a few days before our first lab). I’ve learned how to teach someone to use a walker. I’ve learned that physical therapy is so much more than healing sports injuries. I’ve learned how connected the physiotherapy community is, and how amazing it is to have help from actual practicing physios who dedicate their time to come in and teach us skills they’ve honed over years and years. I’ve learned to trust in myself and my knowledge and experience to end up where I need to be, even if I don’t know where that may be or how I’ll get there.
So yeah, this is basically just my long way of saying it’s okay to be lost and it’s okay to not know.
Sometimes, that might be for the best, for you’ll be surprised by what’s to come 🙂
